Wednesday, May 11, 2011

I've left it in the Lord's hands.

Dear family,
To tell you the truth I'm pretty stressed, and these past two days haven't been amazing.  It was really awesome seeing you on Sunday.  I thought it would be hard for me to get my mind focused again, but it really wasn't hard.  I guess that's what 8 months out here does to you!  Especially with everything going on!  Kim came to church on Sunday, but he didn't like Sunday School.  He went to the regular class where they talked about the prodigal son.  The teacher talked about how we need to welcome those people back into our Branch, and Kim wanted her to talk about how we are the prodigal sons and daughters.  I mean the story has so many layers and stuff, and she just touched on the most basic one.  Kim wanted to go deeper into it too.  He loves deep doctrine stuff.  So I was worried that he didn't have a good, spiritual time at church.  But I know that if you go with the Spirit then you'll always learn something.
Monday was good. We had a really good lesson with Tommy.  He's been overseas and kinda not doing too well.  He's seen stuff that would blow your mind.  We taught him about the first half of the Plan Of Salvation and focus on the Atonement.  It was an awesome lesson.  And he even asked if he could come to church!  Talk about awesome!
We also had a good lesson with Todd that night.  The Fernandez came with us and I felt impressed to ask Brother Fernandez to tell Todd how he gained his testimony of the Book Of Mormon.  He did and it was perfect.  With that testimony we helped Todd realize that he had a small testimony himself.  We also talked to the Fernandez about getting a couple to go over there every week to read the Book Of Mormon with Todd while us missionaries aren't there.  Just to figure out who now!
Tuesday wasn't good.  It was 90 degrees, and humid, and we were riding bikes in nylons!  And I forgot a pony tail!  We had one lesson with Cindy.  We spent two hours over there because she was talking about anything and everything.  The lesson part went really well.  We bore powerful testimony, and she mentioned that she'd like to come to church sometime.  So that was really good.  Too bad this Sunday is stake conference and we have to go up to Hebron at 9am on Sunday.  Kim's going though.  But yeah, that lesson with Cindy was just...long!
Last night Sister Mondelli and I talked about how when we're over there again right after the amen we stand up and leave.  I hate saying, "We have somewhere else to be right now"  because that sounds like, "You're not important to us anymore now that we committed you to coming to church."  It's just hard sometimes to balance everything.  Time, politeness, teaching, getting to know, firmness, boldness, gentleness, etc, etc, etc....
Then we were late to see Ron and after that Kim.  So even though we got to talk to Ron we had to reschedule with him.  He's a really nice guy and has a lot of potential.  Then Kims....oh man I wish I had magical powers!!!!!!!
First I want to fly.
Then I want to have the power to bare testimony so powerfully that it pierces every investigator to the center of their heart.

There are times when you let the missionaries talk, there are times when you let the Spirit talk.  I can't tell you what happened at Kim’s house, because I don't really know myself.  All I know is that Kim needs time.  I know that I've left it in the Lord's hands, and if He's willing He'll help Kim.  And I just hope that Kim can receive a strong spiritual witness of whatever he needs.  I'm not giving you a lot of information on purpose.  That reason is that I don't have it.  This is pretty much how my brain has been since last night.  It's not very fun.

The whole zone is going to be here in an hour and we still have to go home, get some veggies cut, change clothes and then drive to the park.  We came to the library earlier, but all the computers were taken, so we went to go shopping. I hope the milk is okay in the car!  Stacey's going to come over and help us get ready and what not.  But I'm glad that we don't have to drive anywhere.  I'm really excited that they're coming here.
Oh, and I went to Walmart to look for a frisbee, and guess what?  THEY DON'T HAVE ONE!!!!  How dumb is that?  They have mostly everything else, but not a frisbee!
You know sometimes it feels as if I don't have time for myself, and I don't know how to make time for myself.  Our numbers are crappy even though we get really good lessons in and what not.  There are some things I can't control like members being late or not willing to come with us, or having to do 2 hours of companion study every day with my greenie.  (She actually doesn't even seem like a greenie).  Or that it feels like I'm in some tropical place except there's no beach to go cool down at and we have to work, work, work, all day long.  Sometimes I just wish that I could just relax, but it just doesn't seem that I can.  cuz I should be thinking about this work.  And for some odd reason I've been thinking about what it will be like when I go home.  And I don't like thinking about that cuz then it just makes me homesick.  And then I'm worried about being exactly obedient not only for the work, but for Sister Mondelli.  I mean I'm setting the stage for the rest of her mission.  I'm being myself, but sometimes I don't think that's enough.  Then I think the elders expect more out of me....well one of them does.  And it's just hard, it's just hard.  I wish I had an older sister missionary to talk to, someone like Sister Chen, or Sister Ika, or Sister Clark.

And I'm gonna go play frisbee and what not with the Elders and feel fine afterwards and then I'll regret telling you all this stuff cuz for a week you'll worry about me and what not.  Just pray for me and know that the Lord is there, always there to bare me up if I ask Him to.  Sometimes I just want a break from the fire...but He knows best.  But maybe I've brought a lot of this on myself.

But Sister Mondelli is awesome.  She really is.  She's so chill and relaxed, but hard working at the same time.  When the car stops she gets out ready to work.  She loves teaching and she teaches simply.  She loves the members and the area, and gets excited over small things like squirrels.  She cares about me and asks me how I'm doing if I haven't been feeling good.  She stayed up to talk with me last night about Cindy and Kim and how to get our contacts up.  We sleep the same way too--like a ballerina.  She'll cook potatoes for me, and I don't have to make all of the decisions.  She led part of Cindy's lesson yesterday.  She brings things to my attention that I hadn't noticed before.  She loves riding bikes and running (even when she's sleeping when she runs like yesterday :)

She tells me awesome stuff about her family and friends and Italy (which I'm visiting some day).  She loves this work, she really does.  Okay, I feel a lot better.  I just gotta look at the positive!  Look at what the Lord has given me and I'll be fine!  And don't stress out about being to the park on time, cuz oh well!  And if the Elders don't have fun today it's their fault!

Oh you know what?  Can you do me a favor?  Can you tell Nate, Devey, and any of my other friends that are getting married to flipen send me an invite?  I don't care if I can't go, I want an invite!  And will you please get Devey's address for me?  Also tell her I love her and miss her so much!  Along with Cali, Amber and the rest of those crazy girls from High school!  Oh those were the days!  I didnt' realize how good I had it!

Also tell Grandpa and Grammie that I love their letters.  They bring me so much strength.  I love hearing about Grammie and all that's going on with her.  She told me her conversion story in her last letter, and it was so awesome!  The miracle of one baptism!  And Grandpa!  Oh man his letters are tender mercies of the Lord.  Always arriving when I need them and he tells me what I need to hear.  Those two are so awesome!  I brag about Grandpa all the time to the other missionaries and how awesome HE was as a missionary, and how he never stopped.

Oh, and I was looking through one of Sister Cameron's wedding cake magazines (she's a professional cake maker) and I found the one I want for my wedding!  I'll just have to copy it so Grammie can make me it!  It's awesome!!!

And tell Ben way to go on that soccer game!  He scored the only, and the winning goal!  What a star!  I want to hear all about that game from him!  He has a talent for writing!  I hate it when his letters end.  He's just so awesome.  And he'll LOVE BYUI!!!  Where is he living?

Saydi...I love you.  You are awesome.  Keep your head up, and enjoy this summer with the fam.  They're all you got for eternity!  Harrison, don't kiss anyone!  But live it up this year!  Did you go to Prom?  Jefferson keep being cool, but be humble too!  Benson, I still owe you ice-cream.  If you come here I'll take you to Busy Bees, I hear their ice-cream is good!  Wilson be obedient!  And have fun in life kid!  All of you practice the piano!!!!!

You can send me the May Ensign!  If that's all I get I'll be happy as a pig in a barnyard!   I want that conference issue!!!!!  Very badly!  Any talks on sacrifice too.  From whenever. . . . preferably from an apostle or prophet.  I'm giving a talk at the end of the month.  So talks on sacrifice, and what the Lord expects of us.  None come to mind, but two talks would be good.

Oh yeah, tell David that I haven't heard from him since December I think.  And who wrote him for 18 solid months of his mission?  Oh yeah, me!  No, but seriously, how is that kid doing?  Also all the Calendar Girls besides Cali, how are they?  I heard from Emilee awhile back, but no one else.  Cali writes me often though.  She's awesome.  I love her!  And I love her letters!  So tell them to write me too...and I want a picture of Amber's baby girl!  She's what, 7 months old now?  That's awesome!!!! 
I love you all!
Sister Ostler

One of the greatest districts ever!

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