You know, sometimes in your mission you just feel like giving up. Like throwing in the towel and going home. Or just staying in your apartment and not doing anything. That's how I've been feelings. We've had some awesome appointments, but it seems like we're not helping people REALLY progress, except for J. Then last night the Lord in His oh so tender mercy, helped me realize that I can do this. That I am a good missionary, and now I can't wait to go out and share the gospel, and teach. And hopefully rejection won't bother me.
I took some time to reflect on who I've become, how far I've gotten, and the awesome missionaries that the Lord placed in my path to help me learn and grow. Sister Chen, taught me to work, work, work, and to have faith that the Lord is preparing people to receive this message. Sister Ika taught me how to be a good, effective missionary. Elder Centini was just an awesome, loving first district leader! Elder Dearinger taught me to not be ashamed of this Gospel, and proclaim it with boldness and love. (I really would have liked to go on exchanges with him. Although he'd bug me the ENTIRE TIME! It would be like me and Jackson when we were in our early teens). Sister Clark taught me to love. Sister Mondelli taught me to look at the positive. Elder Vicars, is just Elder Vicars and is just awesome in his own special way. No, he encouraged me a lot and really helped me.
Now I see that I'm one of the senior ones. All my foremothers are dead, and have been for awhile. Most of my childhood leaders are dead too. I'm one of the leaders now.
Anyways. Yes, it's been cold. And help me stay warm I would love hand warmers, and I heard there are feet warmers too.
J is doing awesome! She and her bf read about Alma the younger and Saul and afterwards J said they both felt so good. We told her it was the Spirit. She loves it when we come over. And this time we taught her the organization of the church, in ancient and modern times and she loved it. It made sense to her and helped her realize that this is God's church here. We have a prophet! She wasn't able to go to the Christmas Devotional, so the member that came with us (who is soooooo awesome!) got her email address and is going to email her the link where she can watch it. Because J really wanted to come and listen to the Lord's prophet.
We also taught someone yesterday. She doesn't' know if God exists. And the stories that kept coming to mind were Ammon and Arron. They taught the plan of Salvation and then the kings were like, "I'll give away everything to have this eternal life!" So we taught the pos. Then afterward we asked her if she had any questions. She said, "What do I need to do here," she pointed to the picture of the earth, "to get here?" she pointed to the Celestial Kingdom. Perfect! Kinda like Arron's experience. Be baptized! But we didn't tell her that yet. She still has to have a testimony of Christ.
And Mom, you're right, I do need a change. But I think it's more of a comp change than anything. I love Sister Wallace. I think only Dad would know how hard it is to be with someone for 4 months. We are sooooooooooo different. In interests, in family life styles, in everything. We don't fight, we're just different. It seems that He puts me with my hardest comps for the longest amount of time. And there are times that I just feel like giving up. But I have to at least try. I know I’ll never love her like I loved Sister Howell or Mondelli, or Clark. But I can at least love her.
And I know that if God wants me in DeKalb for the last two transfers then I’ll stay, but if He doesn't then He'll move me. Simple as that. I do love it here though.
Oh, and no one cleans up after us. You spoil those missionaries! We have to do our own laundry, our own sheets, clean our own apartment, car, everything. They better be working harder than me, because they don't have to do a lot of that stuff! We have to take time out of our days (usually pdays) to do that. We do have a clean check every once in awhile. And it's an intense white glove clean check.
Jenna's engaged. Wow.
I'd love to talk with Jackson at the same time. Not sure how that'll work. We get out of church at 1. My time. Not sure anything bout phone calls. I'll let you know when I know.
I didn't mail an sd card home. It'll be after this transfer.
Well I don't really know what else to say. Except did you ever find that David Lanz music, "Joy to the World"?
And what about school for the summer? You never did tell me what you're doing for that. I know it's in the Lord's hands, but it would still calm me if you would let me know something.
I love you!
Thanks for everything.
Amy voiced the opinion that I do a spiritual thought on Isaiah. Nope, sorry, not this week! For the most part Isaiah confuses me.
But what about Benson's favorite church song? SCRIPTURE POWER!
Because I want to be like the Savior and I can.
This clearly says that we can become like our Savior--perfect in every way. The next line tells us how we can become like Him.
I'm reading His instructions, I'm following His plan.
His instructions are obviously the Scriptures which contain his plan.
In Lehi's dream we have the fruit. The Atonement, which enables us to have Eternal Life. What leads us there? The word of God! We see that there are two groups. The last group is the one that makes it there and STAYS. They continually hold on to the rod. When we continually and consistently read our scriptures then we can make it to Eternal Life, the Greatest of all the Gifts of God (D&C 7:14)
Let's skip to the chorus:
Scripture Power keeps me safe from sin.
We see the 2nd group of people. They didn't even read the scriptures. Lehi states, "And I saw numberless concourses of people, many of whom were pressing forward, that they might obtain the path which led unto the tree by which I stood.
"And it came to pass that they did come forth, and commence in the path which led to the tree."
So we see that they did get on that path, but we see that something happens:
"And it came to pass that there arouse a mist of darkness; . . . insomuch that they who had commence in the path did lose their way, that they wandered off and were lost."
We might have that desire to gain eternal life, but if we don't read the instructions, then we will be susceptible to Satan's temptations, and we will sin. Reading the scriptures keeps us on the path away from sin.
Scripture power, every day I need the power that I get each time I read.
Every day. Every single day we need that power that comes to us when we read His instructions. The 3rd group of people did hold onto the rod:
"And it came to pass that I beheld other pressing forward, and they came forth and caught hold of the end of the rod of iron; and they did press forward through the mist of darkness [we see that even they didn't listen to Satan, because they were reading their scrips, but look what happens] clinging to the rod of iron, even until they did come forth and partake of the fruit of the tree."
"And after they had partaken of the fruit of the tree they did cast their eyes about as if they were ashamed"
..."And after they had tasted of the fruit they were ashamed, because of those that were scoffing at them; and they fell away into forbidden paths and were lost."
Why didn't they stay? They made it. They tasted the sweetness of the fruit. What happened? Elder Bednar suggests that it was because they were clinging, instead of "continually holding." They maybe read their scriptures once a week, maybe twice a week. But they weren't immersed in the scriptures. Like the song says we need to be studying, pondering, and applying the word of God every day. That way we can know His plan for us individually and collectively. I have found so many answers and so much comfort from His word. The word of ancient and modern prophets.
Mom asked a while ago how I come up with some of the stuff; I write about what I've learned. I ponder. Pondering is a big thing. When we ponder we allow the Spirit to teach us. And I write impressions I have in my study journal.
So study those scriptures boys, and Saydi! It will help you on your missions, and future callings, and every day.
Love, Sister Ostler